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20xx年、初冬。
僕たちは運命の選択を迫られた──。



「おい、お前、どういうつもりだよ」
「え、何が?」
「何がじゃねぇよ。とぼけるなよ。p子のことだよ。決まってるだろ」
「あ、ああ、そのことか……」
「どうなんだよ」
「ど、どうって、僕は別に……」
「何だよ」
「いや、だから、なんて言うか、その、えっと……」
「はっきり言えよ。お前、p子のことふったんだろ? 知ってんだからな」
「そ、それは……。いや、でもまだはっきり伝えたわけじゃないから──」
「ふざけるなよッ! 何考えてんだよ。ああもうマジわけわかんねぇ。お前ずっと前からp子のこと好きだって言ってたじゃねぇか。だから俺がわざわざお膳立てしてやったのに」
「…………」
「おい、何とか言えよ」
「…………」
「何とか言えっつってんだよ! お前、p子のこと嫌いなのか? 好きだって言ったの、嘘だったのか?」
「う、嘘じゃないよ。もちろん、彼女のこと好きだよ。本当に憧れてるんだ。だけど……」
「じゃあ何だよ、何が気に入らないんだよ? p子、美人だし、超頭良いし、あんないい子、他にいねぇだろ」
「そ、それは……うん。そうだよ、そんなことわかってる。……確かに彼女、すごく綺麗だ。多才だし、ホントにいい子だと思う。でも……」
「でも? でも、何だよ? まさか、ちょっと寸胴なのが気になるとか言うんじゃないだろうな?」
「ち、違うよ。そんなの全然関係ない。そうじゃなくて、ただ……なんていうか、僕にとって彼女は……その、やっぱり遠い存在というか……」
「遠い存在?」
「高嶺の花っていうの? すごく遠い所にいてさ、僕なんかとはそもそも住んでる世界が違ってて、気安く話しかけたりとかできない……。正直言うとね、彼女のことを知れば知るほど、ああこれは本当に手の届く距離じゃないなって、わかっちゃったんだ。彼女の家、すごいお金持ちみたいだし……。とにかく、僕とp子さんとじゃまるで釣り合わない。僕みたいなヤツには無理なんだ。君だってそう思うだろう?」
「はぁ? 何それ? お前、p子がタカビーなお嬢とか思ってんの?」
「いや、高飛車とは言ってないけど……。でも、そういう印象はあるよ。彼女、すごく気が強そうだし、プライド高そうだし、下手な扱い方したら、すぐに機嫌損ねちゃうんじゃないかって……。とてもじゃないけど、僕の両親に会わせたりできないと思う。牛丼屋に連れてくとか、そういうの、もっての外でしょう?」
「ああ、まあな。それは否定しない。確かに、p子のヤツはちょっとお高くとまってるようなところもある。実際、──この野郎、貧乏人ナメてんのか、って思うこともあるからな」
「そ、そうでしょう。だから……だから仕方ないんだよ。僕がどんなに望んだって、こんな貧乏人には彼女を手に入れる資格なんかない。諦めるしかないんだ、もう……」
「ふぅん。それでw美なのか?」
「えっ?」
「w美だよ。隠すことないだろ。お前、最近あいつに興味津々じゃないか」
「えっ、いや、そんなことは──」
「ま、確かに、w美はp子と違って庶民派だよな。アクティブでスポーティーでリーズナブルで……友達感覚っていうか、男の財布の中身なんか気にしないだろ。取っつきやすさって意味じゃ文句ナシだ。まあ、俺はああいう疲れるヤツは苦手だけど、お前とだったら案外お似合いかもな」
「……そ、そう? 確かに彼女、わりと小柄だしね」
「何だよ、小柄が好みかよ」
「あ、いや、別にそういうわけじゃ……でも、w美さんと一緒にいるとすごく楽しそうなんだ。僕、彼女みたいに活発じゃないから、何をするのも新鮮で……あの人とだったら、こんな僕でも新しい自分が見つけられるんじゃないかって──」
「それはp子だって同じだろ」
「え?」
「誰と付き合ったって新しい発見くらいあるさ。p子にはp子なりのいいところがある。あいつはお前の持ってないものだってたくさん持ってるよ」
「そ、そりゃそうかもしれないけど……でも、やっぱり僕には──」
「違うね。お前はp子のことちゃんと見ようとしてないんだ。見ようとしないで目を逸らしてる。本当は一緒にいたいくせに、貧乏だとか釣り合わないとか適当な理由作って誤魔化して……お前、そんなんでいいのかよ。p子のこと、そんな理屈並べただけで諦められるのかよ。関係ないだろ、金のことなんて。大事なのはお互いの気持ちじゃないのかよ!」
「そ、それは──」
「どうせw美のことなんて、とりあえず手が届きそうだってところに惹かれただけなんだろ? p子から逃げるために即席の感情作ってんだよ。理屈こねて自分を騙して、将来のこととか何も考えてない。俺にはそう見えるけどな」
「ち、違うよ! そんなことない。将来性はすごく重視してる。僕はただ……」
「だったら、もう少しp子のこと本気で考えてやれよ。金とか住んでる世界とか、そんなんじゃなくて……。あいつが今どんな気持ちでお前のこと待ってるか……お前、ちゃんとわかってるのか?」
「……え?」
「そりゃ、最後にはお前が決めることだからな、p子のこと、ふるならふるで構わないさ。でも、せめてあいつと、p子と正面から向き合って、それから答えを出してやらなきゃ嘘だろう? ……そうじゃなきゃ、あいつが可哀想だ。目ぇ逸らされたまま、有耶無耶にされちまったら──」
「き、君……」
「俺じゃ無理だから言ってるんだよ。わかるだろう?」
「わ、わからないよ。なんだよそれ、何言ってるんだよ。正面から向き合って彼女のことふれって言うの?」
「……p子は本気なんだ。本気でお前のことを待ち続けてる。これが最後かもしれないからって、無理して貧乏なお前に合わせようとまでしてるんだぞ? あのプライドの高いp子が」
「それこそ高飛車じゃないか。いいよ、無理して合わせてくれなくても。……でも、何? どういうこと、それ、……最後かもしれない?」
「な、何だよお前……知らないのかよ」
「……知らない」
「あ、ああ。……そうか、そうだよな。p子が自分で言うわけないもんな……」
「何だよ」
「いや、いい、知らないんなら別にいい。気にするな」
「気にするなって、ちょっと──」
「知ったらお前、逃げるから」
「……逃げる?」
「だいたい、最初から逃げかけてたもんな。それで手頃なw美に乗り換えようとしたんだから……ああ、期待した俺が馬鹿だった。もういいよ。せいぜいw美と仲良くやったらいいんだ。お前なんか──」
「ちょっと待ってよ。何勝手に決めてんだよ。逃げる? 僕がいつ逃げたっていうんだ! 僕は逃げてなんかないぞ。p子さんのことだって、ちゃんと正面から向き合って、僕なりに考えて答えを出そうとしてるんだ。悩んで悩んで、本当に毎日苦しいよ。それを適当に諦めたみたいに言って……冗談じゃない。君にそんなこと言われる筋合いはないんだ!」
「そうなのか?」
「そうさ。こうしてる今だって僕はずっと悩んでる」
「p子のこと、本当にそこまで本気で考えてくれてるのか?」
「ああ。もう適当に誤魔化すつもりはない。彼女のこと、正面から受け止める覚悟ができたよ。君と話して、そうしなくちゃいけないってわかったんだ」
「……そうか」
「…………」
「…………」
「……最後って、何?」
「…………」
「何?」
「……先に言っとくけど、俺、p子が好きだ」
「うん」
「でもあいつにそれを伝える気はない。やっぱりあいつは……あいつが選んだヤツと一緒にいた方が幸せになれると思うから」
「……うん」
「……あいつはさ、身体に爆弾抱えてるんだよ」
「え?」
「家系らしい。美人薄命ってあるだろ。今は何でもないような顔して振る舞ってるけど、まるっきり調子の悪い日もある。いつ発病してもおかしくない身体なんだよ、あいつは。だからこれが最後かもしれないって言った」
「そんな……」
「本当は誰かに気持ちをぶつけるようなヤツじゃないんだぜ、あいつ。いつもツンと取り澄ましてさ、そりゃお高くとまってるように見えても仕方ないかもしれないよな。でもそれは、そうやってようやく手に入れた幸せが、いつか自分のせいでなくなっちまうってわかってるからなんだ……」
「そ、そんなッ! そんなのってないよ! どうして──」
「でも今は違う。あいつピカピカに輝いてる。すごく頑張ってるよ。さっき言ったのは冗談じゃないんだ。少しでもお前に近づこうとして、虚勢張って、できもしない値下げに挑んだりして、本当に無茶してるんだ。それもこれも、全部お前に選んでもらうためなんだからな」
「…………」
「……何だよ、聞かなきゃ良かったと思ってるのか?」
「……いや。それで、どれくらいもつの? 正直な話」
「そうだな、これまでの状況からすると、長くて五年、六年。普通なら三、四年てところだけど、今のあいつだったら、最悪、即日ってこともないわけじゃない。実際、細かいところではちらほら障害も出始めてる」
「そ、そうなんだ……」
「何だ? やっぱりw美に傾いてるのか? そうだよな、あいつ、子供から大人まで大人気だもんな。今のp子じゃリスク大きすぎるよな。でもw美だって、案外キレやすかったり、乱暴だったり、それなりにリスクはあるんだぜ?」
「君は……君は、どうするの?」
「俺か? 俺はとりあえず様子を見るよ。一年くらい。ここで焦って馬鹿見るのはゴメンだし」
「偉そうなこと言ったわりに無難だね。そんなに長い間我慢できるの?」
「できるさ。問題ない」
「そっか。それなら僕も……」
「お前は駄目だよ。今すぐにでも決心しなくちゃいけない。お前にはそれだけの理由と責任があるんだから」
「そ、そうなの?」
「当たり前だ。だからお前は今すぐ決めろ。ここで決めろ。p子かw美か……ああ、それからお前、x女史のことも一応考えてやれよ。あっちはあっちで先陣切って猛烈アピール仕掛けてきてるんだから」
「エ、x女史? x女史って、あの?」
「何だよ、自覚ナシかよ。すげぇ積極的にアタックしてきてるじゃねぇか。めちゃめちゃお得だぞ、アレ」
「そっ、そんな! 無理だよ、いくらお得だからって、僕、外国製の人はちょっと……」
「だよな。俺もそう思う。ま、誰を選ぼうが一長一短だ。せいぜい頭を悩ませて苦しめばいいさ。どのみち正解なんてないんだし、悩んで悩んで後悔すればいい。だってそれが──」

それが青春ってモンだろう?


新感覚・次世代青春恋愛小説

『三つどもえ』

──完──
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