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ひからび
ひからび1

さて、無農薬。
ときたま虫入り。
交差点でじだんだ踏んでいるデビルマンを
なんとか角地の一軒家にご招待するため、バイオリンの弓で
歯を磨く、湖水地方のおたずねものウサギの物語
「嵐が丘のヒースクリフとだんだだん」

さて、カジュアル。
されど三日前の膨らんだ風船のエアーを
200個、逆吸いまくりに挑戦する豊島区のペンネーム、
「それって、お金ですむことでしょ」さんのリクエスト
「山姥の宿は火事だった」、フルコーラスでどうぞ!!!

そんでハインリヒ。
身長2mのAikoがラジオ体操、明かされた三番の謎。
グアテマラの整形美人さんのコメント
「あたしの顔は半端な借地権じゃ〜譲れない」
やはり端午の節句は三年物のドクターペッパーにかぎる。
血で血を洗う勢いの献血の勧誘ギャルのプリクラ一枚。

-やはり当行はクワセモノ-




ひからび2

力ずくで押し倒したら、ぬりかべだった。
当然、穴無し。

うめうめしながら町を歩いているスポーツ刈りのマルガリータ、
ところ狭しと掃除しまくる、ダスキン所属のお蝶婦人フリル健在。

「ぼくを食べて!!」叫んだばっかりに、アキレス腱を噛み千切られ
逆ギレしたアンパンマンとそのまにあわせヘッド250個。

「かかしと話すときは、目を見て話せ!!!」
畑を横切るたびに、こえだめ担当のよし子ちゃんに
激怒される24の瞳を持った三つ子のピン、チョン、ポン。

「こいつはうめ〜や、もうイッパイ!!!」と言いながら、
ドンブリごと頭からかぶり続け、汗だくのファイトイッパツ二人組み。

「イヤになっても離れられないのは、
 スキな人のイヤなところだからですね〜〜」と
キライなヤツに言われた時のパイレーツ並みの脱力感とはばかり。

「知らない人に付いて行っちゃ〜だめよ〜〜」と
説教する知らないオジちゃんに
もう3kmも付いてこられ、人生5年4ヶ月最大の窮地に
たたされている鶴巻幼稚園花組、ムハメッド銀次郎くんの
あしたはどっちだ〜!!

-王様の耳はローソンで〜〜と叫んだ花菱アチャ子-




ひからび3

「本日はご来場くださいまして、誠に感謝感激雨あられでございます。
ここまでたどり着けたのは、ひとえに皆様方の応援、ご加護、
愛情の賜物でござい・・・・ウ・・・(感泣)」
と駅のホームの長椅子に、部活で疲れきってウトウトレム睡眠中の
女子高生みどりちゃんの耳元でスピーチし続ける、
自称「ポーツマス宣言ラブ」の安田梅吉57歳、走る。

帰国子女のちあき嬢、ヒューグラント似のナイスガイを
実家に招いてディナーパーティー。
グラント君、ちあき嬢のママに感謝したく、
「年上の女性の一番の誉め言葉は(英)」とちあき嬢に質問。
こそこそ教わり、2回暗唱、満身の笑みでママにむかい、
「ナント ステキナ トシマノワカズクリ デスネ〜〜〜」とラブコール!!
ちあき嬢のコメント
「凍りついたママって、だ〜い好き!!!!」

一度でいいから「きみは包囲されている、無駄な抵抗はやめて出てきなさい。」
といわれてみたい二週間連続で黒衣装のうさぎさん。
今日もPM:6:00から銀座のマツキヨの前で無駄な抵抗の練習。
チーム「無駄な抵抗をなくしてリサイクル」のリーダーで指名手配中。

誰が読んでも感動、感激するとこがない名作、
「アンネの絵日記(みかん汁あぶり出し編)」

「今日も一日頑張ったな〜〜!!」が朝、目覚めた時口癖の営業一課、
地肌が桜肉の信一郎さん。玄関で「それじゃ〜、行ってきたよ〜!!」

家族全員、萎えっぱなし。

-タバスコで洗顔、コパトーン一気飲み-




ひからび4

「そんな人の足を引っ張るの、やめてくんない??!!!!」
由比ガ浜の自縛霊に海中へ引きずり込まれたのを、
弟の水子霊、仙太郎のせいにする鬼畜姉御霊、桜子。
あの世でも姉弟、かわらず。


「畜生、覚えてやがれ!!!!」
悔しそうに逃げ去る兵隊ヤクザ。
三日後に道の向こうから笑顔で手を振り、「覚えてた???」
しかし「えっ???」と言われ、かなりのショックでひきこもり、
生活保護を拒否して餓死を選んだ自称「伊集院健太マラビンゴ」。


やさしい人柄が評判の、餃子の皮専門店の周さん。
しかし誰もが気になる店の前の白地に赤ペンキのなぶり書き。
「具の話、お断り!!!!」


「君の悪いところは議論好き過ぎるとこだね。」
と言われ、「そんな事はないでしょう、それについてはですね〜〜」
と議論を始めるロングヘア〜が売りのミスターひろしJr。


駅のホームで、うっかり財布を線路に落としてしまったら、
ドロ〜〜ン!!と神様が現れ、
「あなたの落としたのは、このたまごっちですか、
            それともこのマハラジャの扇ですか?」
「ちがうんですけど・・・」と言ったとたん、
「いい訳はキライ!!!」の声、黒い影に背中をドン!と押され、
気がついたら、隣にヘッセが立っていた。
「君のおかげで新作が書けたよ、題名{電車の下}

〜夢にまで見たアスファルトで作る目玉焼き〜
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