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SLAM MAN
深夜、通販の番組を見ていたら、衝撃の新製品が紹介されていた。

「SLAM MAN」

スラムマン!?なんだそりゃ?
濃い顔の女が紹介を始めた。

「スラムマンは、従来のような運動マシーンとは全く違ったやり方で、とても快適なエクササイズがどーたらこーたら。理想的な体を作り上げることができるんです」

そして出てきたのは、ただの人形であった。
どう見てもプラスチック製の、上半身だけの人形だ。動かない。

「使い方はとってもかんたん。専用グローブを装着して、この人形を殴るだけ。それではここで、アクション俳優のナンタラカンタラさんをお呼びしましょう」

男登場。

「このスラムマンはとってもいいね。なんたって、相手が殴り返してこないんだ。それに全身を使った運動だから、ムダなく効率的なエクササイズが可能なんだよ」

おいおい!ただ人形殴ってるだけじゃんかよ!!
殴り返してこないって、当たり前だろうが!!

再び濃い顔の女が登場。先ほどとは違う、別の男(やはりスラムマンを殴っている)に声を掛ける。
「みなさんスラムマンを一生懸命殴ってますねえ。あら、ジミー。あなたもがんばってるわね」
ジミーと呼ばれた男はスラムマンを殴るのをやめ、先ほどの男優と会話をはじめる。
「ああ。このスラムマンは本当にいいよ。殴る運動だから、一度で二回分の運動ができるから効率がいいね。まずひとつめは、パンチを出す時の運動。そしてふたつめは、パンチを引っ込める時の運動。それに腕だけの運動だと思われがちだけど、スラムマンは全身を使うからね」

パンチを「出す」と「引っ込める」で「2つの運動」とか言うな!!

「このスラムマンを、ボクシングジムの人にも実際に使ってもらったんだよ」
ジムの人登場。
「いやあ驚いた。スラムマンは最高だ。ウチのジムにも導入するつもりだよ。あまりに夢中になりすぎて、2回もKOしちゃったよ」

ダイエットマシーンのはずじゃなかったのか?
このVTRでは、スラムマン相手に無理矢理スパーリングまがいのことをしていた。

「このスラムマンは、今までのウォーキングマシンなどと違って
飽きないよね。殴る運動だからストレス発散にもなるしね」

だんだん方向が変わってきたようだ。

「あなたもこのスラムマンで理想的なボディをつくってみませんか?」

久々に大ヒットした。
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